He's My Poison
by Val-Creative
Summary: He is ill. So is she. Oneshot. RobStar. For Katie.


_Yes, this is a **RobStar **fanfic, not a RobRae. Even though I'm normally a RobRae writer, I have no hateful feelings towards the relationship or writers of this relationship. In truth, at some level I've begin to respect it__. I'm RobRae writer at heart but I wanted to try my hand at experimenting with a different pairing.__ And this lovely one-shot is dedicated to an aspiring authoress, rabid fan of RobStar, and my best friend **kittypirate17**! Happy Eighteenth Birthday you crazy Zuko lover, I'll be joining the adult ranks soon enough! I hope I do some justice to the pairing, it's not great, it's my first time writing this pairing. _

_At least I tried, right…..right? _

**_…_**

_**"Robin, you are my best friend. I cannot be in a world where we must fight. If you are truly evil—then go ahead. Do what you must." -Apprentice Part Two**_

They stood on the beach near the bay. Quiet as the navy mist seeping, enveloping them from sight, so they could be alone in the sunset darkness. The boy next to her, knowing that no one could see them, gently took the girl's fingers into his glove. Her glittering vivid green eyes expanded but didn't look away from the steamy stars and oceanic scene in front of them. Herabnormally caring heart skipped a beat in anticipation.

"This is nice."

The girl took in a mouthful of sea air and let it go, "What is?"

"Being here." The boy's invisible smirk broadened to a sudden smile as he shifted slightly to the left, in _her _direction, "…being with you."

Her heart went from skipping beats to overzealously pumping in a high-speed rhythm.

"You enjoy my company? As friends, yes?"

His gloved hand slipped from her fingers and found her cheek, surprising her by tenderly turning her face to meet the odd mask covering his eyes. Eyes never to be revealed to anyone. Nor would they ever. Without seeing them, the girl knew what look was cast upon her. Only at moments like this where they couldn't be caught, where he felt safe, she knew what the humans called 'love'. This 'love' came from him. Though he didn't acknowledge it in words, it did not mean it was not there.

Sheltered by fog, darkness, or a crowd of strangers away from their teammates, he would do the ritual of exchanging languages but she quickly learned that it meant something entirely different here on Earth. Yes, she was _very _eager to learn.

Instead of going straight to lust, the boy just held her warm cheek in his palm, staring at her. Her cheek became increasingly hotter with anxiety, "U-Umm…friend…?"

"A friend would have hated me for associating with Slade; a friend would have never let me forget I pretended to be Red X. After that, you're the only one who will look me directly in the eye. You're not my friend."

Round eyebrows lowered.

"You're something more. You've always been. You trust me, even when I can't trust anyone; somehow a part of you can forgive me. I'm grateful for you Starfire, I'm grateful you're in my life."

The girl smiled widely, because she knew it would please him, because those smiles meant most to him, "And I am grateful you are in mine Robin."

The mist grew denser around them. Slowly his upper arm drew behind her neck and she bent down too far as her lips came on contact accidentally with his nose. The boy let out an embarrassed chuckle and tilted up slightly on his toes to seal a warm closed mouth kiss. When the boy pulled back, he weakly smiled, "Someday I'm going to gain a few inches on you."

Her golden lips curled as the girl teased uncertainly, "You feel inferior because I am so tall?"

"I wouldn't care if you were 6'8 and I turned out to be 5'4."

"I think you would."

He admitted, his smile keen, "Alright, I might."

Any comfortable silence that would come between them ended as her sugary tone reserved for him dulled to importance, "Will you promise me something Robin?"

"Anything Star."

What wouldn't he promise her?

"Do not break my heart, I care for you so much and to have seen you betray our friend's trust hurt me more than I can bear."

Silently, she added her own plead for herself.

The boy nodded, resolve unmistakable in the gesture of squeezing of her shoulders, "I promise."

Glittering green softened, "I believe you."

-

_**To be young and careless…so gullible……**_

-

She stirred, and stirred, and stirred some more. Her elegant amber fingers tightened around the wooden handle of the kitchen spoon hard enough to splinter it in two. She stirred faster, vigorously in a circle and kept the contents inside the plastic bowl.

The sliding doors in the lobby spewed out a figure in indigo, soundlessly making her way to the kitchen, and in the same fashion, set out her ingredients for herbal tea.

Indigo eyes flickered over in the other girl's direction, narrowing softly, "Starfire?"

The young Tamaranean native glanced up a moment, not at all surprised to see someone else in the room with her, "Yes Friend?"

"What are you doing…?"

Starfire brushed back a long strand of auburn inattentively and tucked her bowl in the crook of her thin amber arm, "I am making pudding." Indigo swept over empty cardboard boxes and a used measuring cup.

"But…you're using real ingredients and not adding any of your foreign food from your planet."

Bright green blinked, "Yes."

Raven's face gave way from blankness to minor uneasiness, a look only set aside for the concern of her friends, "Are you okay Starfire?"

_Cr-crack._

She shook the broken spoon out of her hand, lowering her eyes under nearly invisible eyelashes, "Things…are not okay." Raven summoned the bits of polished wood onto the kitchen countertop and tried to pry the problem from her, "You don't want to talk about it?"

The Tamaranean frowned, "You will listen?"

"I'm not heartless Starfire, emotionless maybe but not heartless. Just because I get annoyed at you sometimes doesn't mean I don't care about your feelings. That's the whole reason why…"

The telepath suddenly bit down her gray lower lip in contempt and Starfire pressed, "Yes?"

"Nothing. Just…..nothing, what's getting you upset?"

_- Cold and uncaring he stared at her with masked eyes, eyes that would have cut her wide open if sheathed. His weapon raised ready to strike. Her hope dropping every second, she prepared herself for excruciating betrayal, for her body and her heart as she raised her glowing hand. A once cheerful green eye darkening, maybe not physically but radiating from the glare was scorn. Scorn of a lover -_

The young amber-skinned alien blinked rapidly, keeping the tingling of unwanted tears behind her tear ducts where they belonged.

"Starfire?" Raven eyed her, calling her softly.

"I am frustrated. And I am full of feelings of loathing," Starfire confessed, rubbing her upper arms, signaling her distress. Her psychic teammate felt the sadness threatening to bubble over and unconsciously motioned for her to go on. Best to let it go. She knew the one subject that was mostly the cause for the deflation of her blissful moods.

"It's about Robin, isn't it?"

Wasn't it always? Not that Raven could blame her for being so upset. Only a month ago Robin had been 'tricked' into becoming Slade's apprentice, she could only imagine what had been going through Starfire's head as she willingly but at the same time unwillingly fought him.

The light in Starfire's eyes dimmed as she glowered a little at her teammate, not really being able to pull on a full-force scowl. The telepath simply replied with a shrug, "Alright, I'll let you talk."

"I at times do not understand why Robin joined Slade, though I know his reasons I can't seem to forget."

Raven said monotonously after she hesitated, "I see where you're going with this, and I think it would be better if you talked it out with him instead of me. Not that I wouldn't like to help but this seems more like an issue between you two."

The alien girl folded her arms in a childish gesture, "I do not wish to speak to him."

"Then you might as well wear a sign on your forehead saying _coward_ because that's what you're acting like," her teammate gave her a stern glance as she cupped her china teacup in her hands.

Starfire got up off her stool to turn away angrily, "Do you forgive him?"

Black spandex arms emerged from under the indigo cloak, settling themselves easily on the kitchen countertop. The same indigo eyes stared unblinking.

"His actions, however wrong they were, were to protect us. That's all he ever thought about. If I had been in his place…I would have done the same thing," Raven looked down to busy herself with the task of putting away her teapot and switching off the burner on the oven.

With another cup steaming, the telepath headed for the double doors in the lobby with Starfire eyeballing her frustrated.

'_You do not understand.'_

Appearing in the doorway to greet Raven with a smug smile was the Boy Wonder himself, dodging out of her way out of curtsy, "Hey Raven." She tilted her indigo strands in his direction, "Goodbye Robin."

With a **whoosh**, titanium swallowed her entirely.

Still smiling, he seated himself on the stool closest to the alien, "Do you ever wonder what she does all day?"

Starfire said grumpily, not looking at him as she fished out another spoon from a cabinet, this time silver, "What ever it is, I'm sure she would appreciate it if her friends would not talk about her while she is not here to hear it."

The space between his masked eyes scrunched, "Starfire…I wasn't trying to be offensive."

"_Could have fooled me,"_ she murmured, sticking her spoon into the gooey mess of pudding.

He scratched his head, trying to keep his incredulity from reaching his voice, "Did…I do something wrong? There's not some Tamaranean holiday I forgot about, right?"

"No. There are no holidays."

"Then….why are you acting like this?"

Bright green flickered, landing on him in outraged stare, "What am I acting like?"

Robin watched her set the bowl back down and decided to be honest, even if he was bound to get injured continuing this discussion, "Cold, for one thing. Like you don't want me to be around you."

"I believe today you are the winner who is lucky," she exclaimed in her sad attempt at sarcasm, it actually made him inwardly flinch at how hard she was trying to remain mad at him. However a sad attempt it was. He went from scratching his head to rubbing the side of his neck in a troubled gesture, "Um…can we talk?"

When he got up, Starfire passed him, rudely brushing his shoulder aside, "Oh, is there something else you are not telling me?" The thin skin around her eyes hardened, "Perhaps you have been with another girl who is a friend."

"Huh---what, _no_, I don't have a girlfriend….you"

Big mistake.

Her left hand which clutched the spoon crushed the silver as if it had been nothing but a paper clip in her grip, the formality in her voice never wavered though, "I can see that our relationship means nothing to you." Robin ogled at the metal heap in her hand.

"Whoa…Star, stop, give me a moment to think--"

She whirled around, stomping, "No! You are a liar and I do not wish to speak to you any longer."

Confused but determined to get her to listen to him, he seized her arm to keep her from leaving, "Star, please, don't, I'm not cheating on you, I haven't lied to you"

Vivid green glanced down at where his hand touched her and they began glowing mutely in forewarning.

"Yes you have. You broke your promise to me, for that you are a liar and a…._clorbag_," his eyebrows contacted and she repeated more loudly, "That's right, a clorbag! You will let me go now!"

Reluctantly, Robin did, muttering as Starfire silently stormed out into the hallway, "Oi."

Not just in embarrassment but in realization too.

'_What have I done?'_

-

_**Let me know how you feel tonight…scream it from the rooftops…..**_

-

"What have I done……………what have I done…"

He said it again and again in his head, silently until the deadening words passed his lips in a breathy inquisition. Necessarily, he didn't have to ask himself, he could just ask his teammates. Or Starfire. They knew.

The thought of his past actions made him queasy. He was suppose to be a hero, above what criminals stooped to. And yet, he joined Slade. _Slade_, damnit, one of the most horrible psychopaths he knew. Slade had gotten him to _voluntarily_ join him, even when Robin thought he had no choice, there was a choice.

His friends or his friends.

Dead or alive.

Viewed as treacherous. Unreliable. Disloyal.

Either way he was royally fucked and Slade counted on it. The man knew his weakness; he could only imagine what Slade would conjure up next. What area of vulnerability he'd strike next.

Beast Boy.

Raven.

Cyborg.

_Starfire_.

Green gloved hands clenched with tension. He'd be damned before he'd let that madman touch her. Any of them.

Sad truth was…he might have already been damned.

Frost pooled around his face as the Boy Wonder exhaled, face tilted skyward. Alone on the cold breezy rooftop, he laid in the middle of the empty landing pad, arms crossed over his head. His wallowing position. Where his cockiness came to die and his seriousness took over. He was about to sink deeper into said wallowing when violet thigh-high boots stood above him, waiting. Behind his mask, his eyes flicked up to a solemn amber face, unreadable at first than her green eyes softened somewhat. But only somewhat.

"What's up?" Robin asked calmly on the ground.

"Beast Boy asks for your assistance in the assembly of equipment parts in the weight room."

"Where's Cyborg?"

He picked himself up, Starfire clasped her hand over her opposite sloping shoulder, not looking at him as she addressed him, "Cyborg has gone with Raven to get the groceries, and Beast Boy has asked for you not anyone else."

She stepped away when he asked, "I don't want to sound like a complete ass by asking but why are you still talking to me?"

He'd give anything to keep her talking.

Green gleamed with unspoken ache, yearning, "Because I love you. And no matter how terribly I try to think of you as a bad person, I cannot. I cannot make those feelings go away. It is as if you have poisoned me and there is no cure."

Robin protested surprised, "I don't want you to feel that way."

"You do not understand. I love you so much that I am uncertain you feel as I do. You are accustomed to darkness and secrets. You do not tell me if you are plagued by pain if the other is hurt, if we are apart."

He thought about Slade's hideout, his team fell to their knees in absolute agony as the nanoscopic probes slowly began to kill them off. About hot white tears running down her disfigured red and orange glowing face. About his heart plummeting into his stomach acid.

'_If only you knew Star…'_

She had been waiting for an answer, when she received none, Starfire sighed, "I think I'm beginning to understand you Robin."

A beat passed before the Teen Titans leader gave in, "I didn't mean to break that promise to you.I didn't want Slade to hurt you, that's why I did it," his tone darkened, passing through his gritted teeth, "I couldn't let him hurt you."

"Slade will be inescapable," she agreed, her shapely back to him. Before Robin could go into a speech about how hard he was going to work to find out who Slade was and how to stop him, Starfire glanced over her shoulder, "So is your poison. I do not mind it so much anymore." Her small smile worked the creases of her golden lips.

He returned it, his cockiness returning, "Can't we call it something nicer? Poison is a bit…depressing."

"Then I shall call it ensnarement?"

Robin chuckled, "How about we don't call it anything and leave it at that?" He offered his arm out to her in a sort of peace offering, "Want to help me help Beast Boy?"

Starfire looked like she was going to refuse but than extended her limber amber arm, saying with a sincere bright smile, "If you will do something for me Robin."

"Anything Star."

What wouldn't he do for her?

"Do not let Slade get the best of you. Know that by loving me you are protecting me," she was almost pleading with him.

He nodded gravely, "I'll keep that in mind," and for the first time since they were mere children, they kissed where anyone could catch them.

On her way into the entrance doors, the figure in indigo levitating grocery bags below shook her head in the shadows of her hood.

'_Why am I not surprised…'_

* * *

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